What is a mindset shift
A mindset shift is about understanding what is important to you in life. As much as we want to find a sense of self and be happy in everything we do, the reality is that life does get in the way.
We create building blocks for ourselves. Or connect with people where these blocks are easily created in who we interact with or spend time with.
I believe in your ability to find and have happiness. You are born with it. However, somewhere in the midst of living life, you can misplace it – almost as though it’s been tucked safely away in a box but you can’t remember where you put it.
Maybe that box even has someone else’s name on it. Your partner. Your children. Your parents. Your friends. What if I told you, you can have it all? The key to achieving that is by developing a mindset shift on what the “all” means to you and your life.
Maybe having it all has been cast aside in favour of a career, happiness is more important than money – but we still have to pay the bills. Or maybe it’s the ties to parenthood. The expectation or order to attend to the “musts” and “shoulds”.
And so you go on living life, not knowing how or where that happiness was lost or dulled along the way… Perhaps you haven’t even realised it is missing, because you decided somewhere along the line that YOUR happiness was less important than everyone else’s.
What to do when you feel emotionally drained
Do you feel like you are giving all the time and not getting anything in return? When you feel emotionally drained, it could be you are giving too much to others and not yourself.
What may at first sound selfish, is a reality everyone has to face in life. Don’t give too much importance to anyone but yourself. Of course, you can still have friends, loved ones and socialise – but for a moment you need to also think about you.
If you are feeling emotionally drained, there’s probably a good reason behind it. If it’s not that you are giving too much to individuals, but to your work or other parts in your life – you need to take a step back and see what you truly want.
How to change your life for the better
You see, I know what it’s like to cast myself in the role of the martyr. To give everything I have to those around me and not save anything for myself; to long for those feelings of lightness and joy, wanting things to shift but not knowing how because you don’t really know why you ended up in this place to begin with.
I get it. I was there – more times than I can count. But I found a way to put that missing ingredient back into the mix. I found MY happiness again. And now I guide others in finding theirs.
There is one thing I know for sure: If you don’t like the way your days are happening TO you, you need to make a choice. You get to decide what your life looks like. You can CHOOSE to make your days happen FOR you instead.
How to shift your mindset and find joy again
Let’s call it Part 1: Finding it.
It sounds simple, but feels hard… Don’t worry, that’s just the start.
I won’t lie, it’ll be a journey to shift your mindset. You will need to decipher what you want out of life. You will need to figure out what actually makes you happy. (Tip: Sometimes it’s easier to find the answer by beginning with understanding what DOESN’T make you happy!)
The next step is quite simple: Flip the thing you don’t like into the opposite.
Don’t want to constantly find yourself feeling emotionally drained? Well, then you want situations that offer you nourishment and minimise drama. Or maybe you need people to respect your boundaries so you don’t constantly feel like you need to give and give without ever receiving.
The trick is to identify what you don’t want but not focus on that thing. Rather, work out what your ideal version of that situation is and that’s the thing you want.
So, now that you know what you want, are you ready to embrace the change? Are you ready for that mindset shift to bring joy back into your life?
I waited FAR too long to figure out what I wanted, and why I wanted it. But once I did, wow. The impact of taking action to flip my life was profound.
So, my advice is to figure out what you do want, why you want that, and then go for it! Don’t waste time with excuses. If you have limiting beliefs, bust through them. If you need help, find someone who gets it. Because you are too worthy to stay stuck in that place.
Read that again. You are TOO WORTHY.
You are enough of everything you think you’re not enough of, and you deserve happiness. Once you find your burning passion, that will become your driving force and you DESERVE to be fulfilled.
I had to come to a T-intersection before I could even begin to get out of my own way so that I could step into the journey of discovering my path.
Let me ask you, what gives you purpose? What makes your heart sing with gratitude and happiness? What is it that sparks your joy?
It’s huge to discover all of these raw ingredients – what you want and why you want it! However, it’s still not enough.
How can you give importance to your own life?
Never be too available for someone. You also need to matter. Even if you have a child or someone you look after, you have to remember that you need time for self care too. Or you will burn out or lose a key part of you in life.
Happiness is the most important thing in life. So once you have worked out what has been taking the joy out of your life, or are testing the waters to see what does and does not work – the next phase is to stick to your new way of existing.
So, here’s Part 2: Keeping it.
First, you need to create new habits to replace the old patterns that keep you in that old loop. You literally need to change YOURSELF so that your life changes.
Then, replace it with knowing what’s next. HOW will you get what you want? What are the steps you need to take to achieve it and to stop feeling drained emotionally? And WHEN do you want to have that life? What actions can you take, what opportunities can you invest in to get you there within that time frame?
Let’s be real here – it’s not always easy to create and sustain a new habit. You know, that diet or that New Year’s resolution that wouldn’t stick!
But, I’ve found a way through! It can be done. For real.
By binding all these ingredients together, like baking the cake. Topped with courage and dedication as the icing.
There is a way to have more of the good stuff we’ve always dreamt and wished for! To sustain new patterns and have them come naturally.
It takes work, perseverance for the life you want. But I’m going to make it easier by sharing the key parts of the exact system I created through my experience and use with the clients I coach on their path to living a bold and joyful life.
Change your thoughts to change your life with my 4 proven hacks
These action steps lift the heart and create their own special kind of magic!
ONE: Wake up and change your life: ALIGNMENT
- Go for a walk in nature – it calms your nervous system and gives you a reboot.
- Meditate – it quiets the mind, allowing the opportunity to connect with your soul and inner wisdom.
- Listen to spiritual development like Abraham Hicks – a powerful video is Words to Align.
Whatever gets the monkey chatter to quieten and bring the body and mind into alignment – it feels so good! For me, it’s when I blow dry my hair in total presence that does the trick and gets me in alignment!
TWO: Set your INTENTION
- What is something you really desire?
- Think about what you passionately want – it can be big or small.
- Write it down with as much description as possible – the more details, the better.
- Identify the emotion of your intention – this helps you better connect with the desire.
THREE: Listen to the WORDS you use
- A key to success is in the language we use:
- How we speak needs to be positive and congruent with the vibration of our desire.
- There is NO room for doubt or negative words!
- Being clear and stating what we want tells the universe we are ready to receive what we are asking for.
FOUR: Eyes closed and get EMOTIONALLY connected
- Play the video in your mind as if you are living, hearing, feeling and tasting your manifestation.
- What comments do you hear coming from your friends and peers?
- Step right into it all – the more you go there, the quicker the universe will respond.
- Remember, you’re the lead actor in your movie – camera, ready, action!
The most important thing in life is to be happy. So commit to this as your daily routine and watch the magic happen!
Why is being happy important
I am no longer stuck in the loop of trying to get it right. This mindset shift process was a game-changer for me.
It allowed me to restore my health. My quality of living improved and REMAINED every day. I was no longer “the sick girl”, a role I had inadvertently created for myself. I started walking and swimming; I moved house and created a new circle of friends. I opened up to new tribes of like-minded people.
Once I acknowledged and truly believed that I have a choice in everything, things started to flow my way consistently. I am ecstatic that I have created another chance at living life on my terms!
What could you create if you lived life on YOUR terms?
If you need support in stepping boldly into the life you desire, I am here to guide you. Book in a complimentary Soul Purpose Alignment call to explore how we can walk this path together.
Blessings to the future YOU
Debra x
